The Tourist Trap [On The Road: Berlin]

Hey, what is this? You're kissing in my line? Nobody kisses in my line!

Soup Nazi (Seinfeld episode “The Soup Nazi”)

I have to thank Lonely Planet to send me directly into this tourist trap. If you ask any Berliner as I did sadly after my trip, they will tell you that any kebab in Berlin is excellent. Let’s face it, there must be some hidden gems but kebab making should not be rocket science. So try to avoid Mustafa’s Gemuse Kebap queue as you will get same quality anywhere else.

Queue Time

Long queue for a good looking kebab

A massive queue, full of tourists and student crowds. Cult following status only comparable to the days of Meatwagon in South London. The donner kebab, was good, nice flavours, a special spicy sauce, really nice, but not worthy the hassle and 1hr queue to get your food.

Time to eat

Mustafa's Gemuse Kebap

Street Food

Approx Damage: €5pp

Area: Kreuzberg

Berlin

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A day in the beauty on the Danube [On The Road: Bratislava]

Hello? No, I’m sorry Bania. I’m not going over this again. Well who told you to order soup? No! There's no dinner. There's not going to be any dinner. You've had a sandwich and 2 bowls of soup and that's it. Goodbye!

Jerry Seinfeld (Seinfeld episode “The Soup”)

After almost a week in Vienna we decided to go for a day excursion. So we ended in the capital of Slovakia Bratislava. A small city with less than 500 thousand inhabitants, a nice old city, and few landmarks including the Bratislava Castle, St Michael's Gate, and the picturesque Blue Church.

St Michael's Gate

Blue Church

Wandering around the old city we spotted a garlic soup served in a huge bread, we tried to avoid the tourist traps but we couldn't find it anywhere else, so we decide to run the risk at Slovak Haus.

The Menu

Soup bowl

The soup was nice, good flavour probably not the best one you can find in Bratislava. The combination with the bread is great, I would have toasted/baked the bread so it is crunchy to elevate the dish.

No Soup Nazi

Slovak Haus
T: +421 903 773 774
Slovak Cuisine
Approx Damage: €11pp
Borough: Stare Mesto
Bratislava
Twitter: slovakpubscom

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Then we went for a lonely planet recommendation Prasna Basta, a nice summer garden with St Mitchell's gate as a view. According to the guide is one of the nicest inner courtyards in the old city. We tried another local specialty gnocchi with goat cheese and bacon. Really lovely, well executed and as you can imagine anything with bacon tastes better.

Prasna Basta

Beer time

Gnocchi and Bacon

Nice city for a relax one day trip, good local food.

Prasna Basta
T: +421 2 544 349 57
Slovak cuisine
Approx Damage: €15pp
Borough: Stare Mesto
Bratislava

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The Biggest Schnitzel Ever

Yes I ate the biggest Schnitzel period. The place is Louis, an Austrian restaurant, it was a journey as I was staying in Mitte and we are talking completely East Berlin in Neukolln in the homonymous borough. It was my last day in the German capital and after a lot of thinking I decided to go, “Pana Lonely” recommendation and the pizza one was pretty good so that gave me the extra courage.

The Place

The only table when I arrived

Got to the place, it was almost empty, a couple tables just finishing, so I was the last costumer of the night, I ordered a pretty good Austrian beer, and asked for my pork schnitzel, yes it was pork not veal for the purists, and it was the Louis “Small” Schnitzel, believe me there is nothing small on that patty.

Austrian Beer

It is huge period. Taste good, I like it, and it was a lot, for a moment I thought the Schnitzel was going to win but no one mess with me. So I gorge it ‘till death.

Huge

I consider is worth the trip, good beer, relax restaurant, nothing fancy, and a lot of meat, easily can be share and both will be happy after the meal, and not expensive at all. If you’re a purists that only eats tiny thin little veal schnitzels please don’t go, don’t ruin the place for the rest of us that doesn’t care as much in this case, I do respect your integrity but I’m for the obscenity of the size in this situation.

That's what I call a generous portion

This huge situation reminds me the Seinfeld episode “The Soup”.

Bania: Hey Jerry.

Jerry: Hey Kenny.

Jerry: Elaine, George.

Elaine: Hi.

George: Hi.

Bania: Hi.

Jerry: How's it going?

Bania: Great. I've been working out. Went from a size 40 to a 42.

Jerry: No kidding.

Bania: Yeah, I’m huge. Well, I’ll leave you guys alone.

Jerry: All right.

Elaine: O.K. Thanks.

Bania: Oh. Jerry, you know what just hit me? I was thinking, what size suit are you?

Jerry: Ahh, I’m a 40. Why?

Bania: I just got a brand new Armani suit doesn't fit me anymore. You want it?

Jerry: Well I don't know if I...

Bania: Oh come on. Why should it just sit in the closet?

Elaine: An Armani suit?

George: Take the suit.

Jerry: Well, ok, I guess.

Bania: You gonna be home later?

Jerry: Yeah.

Bania: I’ll drop it off.

George: Heh heh heh hey, new suit.
Jerry: Yeah, yeah, lucky me.

Louis

T: +49 30 68101210

Austrian Cuisine

Area: Neukolln

Borough: Neukolln

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A German Pizza

Flammkuchen that is its name. A German pizza, or as apparently the translation indicates a flame cake. I read in the “Pana Lonely” (the Lonely Planet Guide for the ones who missed the posts in Barcelona) that Schwarzwaldstuben was the place to go in Mitte to try German food.

The Place

The place is airy, trendy, and in some parts it looks like my grandma house so I will say cozy. Got there had a couple Rothaus and ordered my crispy pizza dough with sour cream and… TADAAAA! Boudin Noir! Yes Black pudding according to my French friends, on top a little of red onion confit.

Flammkuchen Star Wars Style

Looks like my Grandma's living room

I do apologise to my really good Italian friends, yes I got a black pudding some sort of pizza and it was good, I won’t compare it with an authentic Italian pizza, but it was good, who would thought that crispy dough with sour cream and black pudding works.

Rothaus

The black pudding delight

More of the place

Go and judge by yourself, they have 8 selections of Flammkuchen, or you can opt for a more suitable Schnitzel.

Germans remind me the Seinfeld episode “The Doorman”.

Kramer: Hey, George, stick them up.

George: What?

Kramer: For these German tourists. Pretend that I'm robbing you.

George: Why?

Kramer: So these people can go back home and tell their friends they saw a real New York mugging. It'll give them a thrill. Alright, hands up, porky! That's it. Now, give me your wallet. Got it in here, huh, fat boy! Is that all you got?! Hah? Is that all you got?!

George: Alright, that's enough.

Kramer: I'll tell you when it's enough! Alright, now you

better not say anything, or I'll stalk you!

Schwarzwaldstuben

T: +49 30 28098084

German Cuisine

Area: Mitte

Borough: Mitte

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The most populous city in Catalunya

My family is originally from Catalonia, or as my great grandfather would have said Catalunya. And believe it or not until a couple weeks ago I hadn’t been in any city within the region. So I had to do something about that and what better place to change that embarrassing situation than going to Barcelona for a weekend.

Las Ramblas

The city is amazing, an architectural gem, superb food, excellent night life, and the relax of the Mediterranean Sea. The places to visit are Gaudi’s masterpieces La Sagrada Familia, Park Guell, Casa Mila (La Pedrera), and Casa Batllo. Also Carrer del Bisbe in the Gothic Quarter, Arc de Triomf, Columbus Monument, Las Ramblas, also you can pass by La Boqueria market or even better having a sunbath in Barceloneta or Bogatell.

Park Guell 

Casa Mila "La Pedrera"

Casa Batllo

La Sagrada Familia

But I couldn’t only do sightseeing I had to enjoy the local cuisine, so I ate as many montados as I could, and went to different places to try the food. For the ones that doesn’t know what is a montado, is basically a kind of tapa with bread and on top anything from shrimps, txistorras, to a classic portion of tortilla.

Montados

This time I didn’t do any research so I had no idea, but my friend Armando had the Lonely Planet Guide, which we nicknamed it “El Pana Lonely” (Pana is kind of slang for friend or mate in Venezuela) so we gave our luck to the our new “Pana” and went to our first gastro-experience.

First Catalonian experience: A Bigger Fish To Fry

Armando was looking for a place in the Gothic quarter he had been before, and he was almost sure that Bar Celta Pulperia was the one. So we arrived to the place which obviously wasn’t the one, but we were so hungry that we didn’t give importance and it was a good test for our “Pana Lonely”.

Bar Celta, you might have a tapa of octopus Paul

The place was a tapas seafood restaurant, a kind of small place, with a huge bar, to have a caña (very small pint) and eat any kind of fried seafood. So we got fried crab, fried squid, and finally a Spanish tortilla. The food was good, the beer cold, and the price reasonable. Good start but not the brightest tapas in Barcelona to be honest, simple fried seafood food, but pretty sure there were better options around the area.

Caña in the bar

Tortilla

Fried seafood 

More fried seafood

Barcelona reminds me the Seinfeld episode “The Hot Tub”.

Jerry: Feel much better here at my home base, Jean-Paul. It's a controlled environment.

Jean-Paul: It's a marathon, you know. 26 miles! I need to get some sleep!

Jerry: Hey, believe me, if I'd been with you there in Barcelona, you'd be polishing that medal right now.

Jean-Paul: Left a comfortable hotel bedroom for this!

Jerry: That wake-up guy was trouble!