Ottolenghi what happened?

What? What is nice? Trying to fill the void in your life with flour and sugar and egg and vanilla? I mean, we are all unhappy. Do we have to be fat too? Not you Becky, I know you have a slow metabolism. I don't want one more piece of cake in my office!

Elaine Benes (Seinfeld episode “The Frogger”)

I used to love Ottolenghi café/restaurant, the cakes were amazing, salads lovely, and other treats always up to the mark, everything in a colourful display that salivate your mouth immediately you see the array and always too many options to choose from. Therefore, most of the times I’m in Notting Hill I end there getting something, but on my last visit I’m sad to say it backfired. We got a selection of sweet tarts and cakes and coffee, not sure what happened, if it was we were at the end of the day and the staff was in a hurry or the cakes were days old but everything was not right.

Coffee & Cake

Cakes were chewy, and not exciting, and the coffee don’t get me started! It was probably one of the worst coffees I have ever had in London. What’s going on? Can’t you afford to train the staff to get a decent cup?

I hope it was a one off, and next time I experience the same quality I have during all these years.

Ottolenghi

T: 020 7727 1121

Mediterranean cuisine

Approx Damage: £15pp

Area: Notting Hill

Borough: Kensington & Chelsea

Twitter: ottolenghi

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European with Latin twist in Chiswick

It's Latin. I read it in some book. I don't know, I just wanted to say it out loud

Elaine Benes (Seinfeld episode “The Café”)

The other day we went we friends to eat around the area. After checking a couple places we decided to go to Quantus. Modern European cuisine with some Latin influences, neat and classic décor, friendly service, and relax environment.

Pork time

Ambitious menu, nice presentation, but they fall short to deliver to the expectation. Food was nice but missed the wow factor. My starter was fine, missed a bit on the execution of the poached egg, but got nice balance with truffle oil, asparagus and Parmesan. For main a classic schnitzel type of dish with a deep and rich sauce that was great at the beginning but got heavy to eat at the end.

Decent offer, menu changes frequently, food ok, and good service, worth a second try.

Quantus

T: 020 8994 0488

European Cuisine

Approx Damage: £40pp

Area: Chiswick

Borough: Hounslow

Twitter: QuantusChiswick

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Pastel de Nata in Hammersmith

How come he's getting so smart? I stopped having sex with Ben three days ago and I don't know no Portuguese?

Elaine Benes (Seinfeld episode “The Abstinence”)

Do you love Pasteis de Belem as much as I do? If the answer is yes and you live in West London then I got good news for you. There is a new Portuguese café/take away style in Hammersmith Broadway shopping centre only doing Pastel de Nata.

The place

The place is called Café de Nata, high turnaround place, with only a large counter, pasteis de belem, and coffee. The product is quite decent, not the best you will have but decent enough and convenient located to kill any withdrawal effects from lack of this amazing Portuguese sweet treat.

Pastel time

Still my favourite in town is Lisboa Patisserie, but this new café is a good second choice and much closer to my home.

Cafe de Nata

T: 020 8834 7555

Coffee Place

Approx Damage: £5

Area: Hammersmith

Borough: Hammersmith & Fulham

Twitter: cafedenata

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Finding an Oyster in Leicester Square

I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisque, we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again 

Elaine Benes (Seinfeld episode “The Yada Yada”) 

When I talk about an Oyster is not about the tube but the J Sheekey Oyster Bar. Sophisticated seafood and oyster bar in opened in 2008 in Leicester Square. Upscale, modern, Jazz atmosphere, and good service. 

The bar

We got some fresh selection of oysters including fines de Claire, tempura, and Jersey rock. All really fresh and nice, but the tempura is the way to go, it was incredible. 

Tempura Oysters

Later we got a sweet corn soup with a lobster roll and also the crab bisque. I would avoid the sweet corn soup, it was nice but the roll was disrespectful, almost no lobster in it, and the size of an amuse bouche. On the other side, the crab bisque was really intense and nice with deep flavours. 

Bass Ceviche

Keeping up we got a superb bass ceviche, nice spicy punch from the jalapeño really lovely creamy touch of the avocado, and nice crispy plantain crisps. Finally the sautéed octopus, it was the best of the night, fresh, great flavours, and a twist of paprika. 

Tapas portions, overall nice and fresh seafood well executed. During July they will be celebrating the lobster festival with some additional lobster based dishes on the menu.

J Sheekey

T: 020 7240 2565

Seafood

Approx Damage: £45pp

Area: Leicester Square

Borough: City of Westminster

Twitter: CapriceHoldings

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Coffee Enquiry XL: Timberyard

Don't worry, your bitterness is safe with me

Elaine Benes (Seinfeld episode “The Fix Up”)

Timberyard is a retro, vintage, 80s style café with two locations. We visited the one just a few steps away from Covent Garden or Leicester Square. Chemex, filter brews, and tea for drinks. Food wise the options are some traditional breakfasts, bake croissants, donuts, cakes, or soup, quiche, and grilled sandwiches for lunch and supper.

The place

We got as usual a macchiato and flat white. Ok coffee, a bit bitter, no latte art in ours but saw others with a lovely hearts and rosettes, probably bad luck, or the barista got lazier for our order.

Coffee time

Espresso Machine: La Marzocco

Beans: Has Beans

Score: 3/5

The Jabberwocky blend they use is quite particular, if they don’t get it right you will get sour and bitter flavours. I think that’s what happened with the macchiato as the flat was nice and with good balance.

Aerial view

Timberyard

Coffee House

Approx Damage: £5pp

Area: Covent Garden

Borough: City of Westminster

Twitter: timberyarduk

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A Coffee in Edinburgh II: Castello Coffee [On The Road: Edinburgh]

I’m queen of the castle

Elaine Benes (Seinfeld episode “The Contest”)

Castello Coffee is a small independent coffee place on Castle St, lacks a bit of atmosphere but the coffee is just great and perfectly executed. Soups and sandwiches complete the offer.

Castello Time

We got a couple Flat whites, they were amazing, the coffee is perfectly extracted, top  and flawless latte art, strong, a good balance with sweetness and some bitter notes, definitely a great coffee.

Coffee Time

Espresso Machine: La Marzocco

Beans: AllPress

Score: 5/5

Castello Coffee

T: 0131 225 9780

Coffee House

Aprox Damage: £4pp

Area: New Town

Edinburgh

Twitter: CastelloCoffee

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Coffee Enquiry XXXVIII: Chateau Dessert

Napoleon? Who's he to have a cake? He was a ruthless warmonger. Might as well get Mengele

Elaine Benes (Seinfeld episode “The Dinner Party”)

Chateau Dessert is a lovely independent patisserie offering desserts and coffee on Chiswick high street. You will find European and Arabic pastries and desserts such as macaroons, baklava, cakes, eclairs, and other sweet treats.

Macaroons

I got a quick Macchiato a baklava, and a takeaway Oreo cake. Strong coffee, a bit over the edge on bitterness, probably works better in flat white, no latte art.

Coffee Time

Espresso Machine: La Spaziale

Beans: Coffee grumpy mule

Score: 3/5

Coffee is ok but the Oreo cake was terrific, baklava also really good, I will keep on the sweet side here. Perfect place if you need a cake for a celebration.

Chateau Dessert

T: 020 8607 4488

Patisserie

Aprox Damage: £8pp

Area: Chiswick

Borough: Hounslow

Twitter: ChateauDessert

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