Burger Wars Episode LXXXVII: A Chelsea Local [BurgeReview]

Oh, get the swordfish. Best swordfish in the city. The best, Jerry

Kenny Bania (Seinfeld episode “The Soup”)

The other day we ended in The Phene, a lovely venue in Chelsea with multiple spaces, including a pub style bar, a nice conservatory dinning room, a private dinner first floor space, and finally an amazing beer garden.

Time to eat

We got the salt and Schezuan pepper squid for starter, really nice good heat. Also the gazpacho, texture was a bit odd but good flavours.

Squid

My partner in crime got a beautiful swordfish, great flavours, perfectly cooked, really nice execution. I decided to go for the Phene Burger.

Burger Time

An Angus beef burger, Blacksticks blue cheese, bacon, and chili jam.

The verdict, the burger didn’t stand the expectations. The patty was completely overdone, they mentioned they cook them medium, but it was well done, completely dry. The bacon addition was nice, the cheese was missing in action.

The damage, 18 quid for the burger and fries adding the blue cheese and bacon

The conclusion, the burger was a disaster, such a shame as the rest of the food was quite nice. It might have been a bad day, I would stay away from the burger, just go for whatever else is in the menu. I will have to give them a poor 5 over 10 just for the bacon that was meaty and lovely addition otherwise could have been a 3.

The Phene

T: 020 7352 9898

European Cuisine

Approx Damage: £40pp

Area: Chelsea

Borough: Kensington & Chelsea

Twitter: The PheneSW3

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Once upon a time in Angel

Donna, do you think you can get the salt stain out of this?

Elaine Benes (Seinfeld episode “The Secretary”)

A place I wanted to visit was John Salt. Probably I waited too long, as Ben Spalding left over the burger incident and then Neil Rankin moved to open Smokehouse, now they are betting into a neighbourhood bar concept. The place was almost empty, weekday a bit later than lunch time and just a couple tables. This hit me as all the reviews I recalled talked about how hard was to find a table there. Now empty rustic bar stools, same for the wood tables, and loud alternative music.

The place

Not impressed at all with the food to be honest, got a kale Caesar salad, just ok, the smoked chicken was hard and cold. Then salt and pepper squid that was nice, good battered and the siracha mayo was spot on, all worked really nice. Finally, some chips with cheese, kimchi, and pulled pork, a bit tough the fries, the pulled pork was nice, the kimchi I hardly notice it. 

Kale Caesar

Sadly, food was not outstanding, I can’t recommend it, only if you are around really hungry and I would say only maybe.

John Salt

T: 020 7359 7501

International / Neighbourhood Bar

Approx Damage: £22pp

Area: Angel

Borough: Islington

Twitter: JohnSaltN1

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Thai in Walmer Castle

In a tiny way, I almost feel responsible. I'm the one who sent him to Thailand in search of low-cost whistles. Filled his head with pseudoerotic tales of my own Opium excursions. Plus, I have him some phone numbers of places he could score near the hotel 

J Peterman (Seinfeld episode “The Bookstore”) 

No I’m not talking about the one built by Henry VIII. I’m talking about the gastropub in Notting Hill. As usual for the area the pub has a Thai restaurant and there is no exception with Walmer Castle, nice laid back traditional pub style downstairs, and upstairs a Thai cuisine world. 

Thai Menu

Keep Calm and Eat Thai

We got a couple starters including the duck spring rolls and crispy squid with salt and pepper. Nice flavours and a good start. For mains we went for Kaeng Kiew Wan the traditional green curry with aubergine and added tiger prawns, and the Pad Kee Mao Talay stir fry noodles with prawns and squid. 

Rolls

Squid

Stir fry noodles

Green curry

The food was good, the curry was better than the noodles, nice flavours but not the best Thai I have had. Probably the Churchill Arms is a bit better. If you’re around and running out of options, or craving Thai give it a go, and the pub is a gem, really lovely with great atmosphere.

Walmer Castle

T: 020 7229 4620

Thai Cuisine / Pub

Approx Damage: £20pp

Area: Notting Hill

Borough: Chelsea & Kensington

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A great bar and a Michelin star

In case you don’t know I’m talking about Hakkasan. Alan Yau’s soho flagship restaurant. Yes the same one of Wagamama, Busaba Eathai, Princi, and other projects. The place has one Michelin star, two locations in London, both with a Michelin star each, and 8 more across USA, Middle East and India.

The place

We got a bit early on purpose to get a cocktail from the amazing bar. Nice atmosphere, dark colours, and great music. One of my friends commented that the music was like being in Fabric.

The bar

Cocktail time

For starters I share with Marisol the Jasmine tea smoked organic pork ribs, and the dim sum platter. The pork ribs were amazing, just like butter they melted in your mouth. The dim sum selection was extremely good, one of the best I’ve had in London, my favourites the scallops shumai and the har gau.

Dim sum platter 

Ribs

I had also the chance to try the salt and pepper squid and it was superb, it is the best one I have had, the batter was perfect, it was puffy, the squid perfectly cooked, and great seasoning.

Squid

For main the black truffle roast duck with tea plant. Amazing, best dish of the night. The duck was tender, and the touch with the earthiness flavour of the truffle a great combination.

Duck time

Stir fry pork belly in salted fish sauce, what can I say you know I love pork belly. It was great, nice spicy punch, and excellent combination of the fish sauce with the tender belly.

Pork belly

I was also able to try the chicken satay, amazing, perfectly executed, nice sweetness and great balance with the peanut flavour.

Chicken satay

For desert we shared the Jivara hazelnut bomb. Quite clever execution, a hazelnut ice cream trapped inside a rice crispy coat and all that swamp in hot chocolate. Nice flavour, and good way to end a perfect diner.

Jivara Bomb

Great cocktails, outstanding food, and amazing service, the least you can expect in a Michelin starred restaurant.

Every time I go to a Chinese place I have flash backs of the Seinfeld episode “The Chinese Restaurant”

George: She called. He yelled Cartwright. I missed her

Jerry: Who's Cartwright?

George: I'm Cartwright!

Jerry: You're not Cartwright

George: Of course I'm not Cartwright!

Hakkasan
T: 020 7927 7000
Chinese Cuisine
Approx damage: £60pp
Area: Fitzrovia
Borough: Camden
Twitter: Hakkasan

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Follow the White Rabbit [On The Road: Melbourne]

One busy place in Melbourne was no doubt Chin Chin. Hectic restaurant, noisy, quite busy, Asian influence, including Thai and Vietnamese dishes, open every day but Christmas day, walk ins only, actually just one 10-12 people table that you can reserve, modern industrial décor, and the rolling stones trembling the walls. 

The place

Décor

My first visit was a starter attack, after studying the menu I decided only to eat starters, first the spicy corn and coriander fritters, beyond imagination, crunchy texture created by the iceberg where you wrapped your fritter, good spicy kick from the chilli jam, excellent execution. Moving on to one of my favourites chilli salt chicken wings, one of the best I have had, the battered spot on, chilli, saltiness, and acidity thanks to the lemon, excellent. Then wok fried salt and pepper squid, finally a spot on the white dress, it was good, nice flavour, but the texture wasn't the correct, a bit too chewy. Finally the Pork roll ups, back to top performance delivery, full of flavour, the red braised suckling pig outstanding with the sweet sauce a perfect pair. 

Fritters

Fritters close up

Wings

Squid

Pork

My second visit got the son in law eggs with chilli, the chilli sweet jam was awesome, good combination with the boiled egg. Then moved to scud city, jungle curry, wild boar, pickled garlic and ginger, really spicy, to the point you start to lose the flavour of the dish, the texture put me off a bit, not their finest.

Scud city

Son in law

For drink they have a decent selection of local beers, my choice a dirty granny, you have to love Australian's beer names. 

Dirty granny

The bar

Food is so good that as soon as you tasted you forget all the noise and racket, just get immersed into the strong aromatic flavours. Service a bit inconsistent, good at full throttle then got a bit relaxed. 

Policy

Menu

Granny reminds me the Seinfeld episode “The Non-Fat Yogurt” 

Newman: Well, I wouldn't hear of it. I said, nice try, granny! And I sent her to the back of the line! 

Jerry: Hello, Newman 

Newman Hello, Jerry, say, this yogurt is really something, huh? And it's non-fat! I've been waiting for something like this my whole life, and it's finally here!

Chin Chin
T: +61 3 8663 2000
Asian Cuisine
Approx Damage: AU$60pp
Area: CBD
Melbourne
Twitter: chinchinmelb

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Tapas Bar in London

I try to avoid Spanish places in London, as I usually go a couple times a year to Spain, and I honestly believe the food over there is much better than the remakes I have found here so far. But chef Jose Pizarro came to prove me wrong. I’ve been wanting to go to Jose for long time now, a Sherry and Tapas bar, nice ambience, good light from the huge windows, Gipsy Kings on the background playing Hotel California, and the smell of Iberico all over, for me it was love at first sight. 

The place

Iberico

Specials

I started with a caña, Alhambra Especial, really nice flavour of the beer. Then my first round of tapas I went for classics, Padron peppers, a tortilla, and one of the daily special the squid. The peppers were great, classic execution, nice flavour of the sea salt and the bitter taste of the few burnt areas. Tortilla great as well, again classic nice flavour and nice seasoning. The squid was superb, the slightly fried squid with onions and capers, and on top aioli just magnificent. 

Beer time

Padron peppers

Squid, capers, aioli

Tortilla

Then I saw Jose drop by to see how the business was running, after minutes of distraction I continue with my last two tapas, I wanted every dish on the menu but needed to focus, so I went again for another daily special, morcilla with apple and mint, and completed my journey with Iberico Manuel Maldonado meatballs. The morcillas (black pudding) were great, nice contrast between the salty morcilla and the sweet apple and red pepper, all that drizzle with a mint oil. Finally the meatballs were exquisite, perfectly cooked, and the tomato based sauce was to die for, the right level of acidity, they add a toasted bread which I used to dip, double dip, and triple dip the succulent sauce, I don't care Timmy I'll dip the way I want to dip. 

Morcilla

Meatballs

Brilliant lunch, highly recommended, the stars of the day definitely the meatballs and the squid. 

Menu

Bar

Double dipping reminds me the Seinfeld episode “The Implant” 

Timmy: What are you doing? 

George: What? 

Timmy: Did you just double dip that chip? 

George: Excuse me? 

Timmy: You double dipped the chip! 

George: Double dipped? What are you talking about? 

Timmy: You dipped the chip. You took a bite, and you dipped again 

George: So? 

Timmy: That's like putting your whole mouth right in the dip! From now on, when you take a chip, just take one dip and end it! 

George: Well, I'm sorry, Timmy, but I don't dip that way 

Timmy: Oh, you don't, huh? 

George: No. You dip the way you want to dip... I'll dip the way I want to dip 

Timmy: Give me the chip! Give me the chip!

Jose

T: 020 7403 4902

Sherry & Tapas Bar

Aprox Damage: £20pp

Area: Bermondsey

Borough: Southwark

Twitter: Jose_Pizarro

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